It was at a Total Station in Molyko, Buea. Four guys in their late 20s and early 30s formed a circle round a pub table, each with a drink in front of him as they stood, chatting politics, education, girls, money, and more. How free we were back then!

I can’t remember when or how, but the subject quickly changed to religion. A bold and intelligent friend of my mine, known for his controversial posts about religion on Facebook said, “I’ll never respect anyone who believes in any religion or the existence of God.”

Well, that didn’t come as a surprise given his previous outings on the subject. For the sake of this write-up, we’ll call him John. During those years, John used to make posts to prove that religion as a whole and Christianity in particular is a scam – and his posts, I must admit, came across as very intelligent or annoying depending on who was reading. Sometimes, he would go as far as calling Christians gullible and stupid for their beliefs.

Well, I understand John. But do I agree with him, no! The backbone of every religion is faith. Logic deals with eyesight; faith deals with mindsight. It’s easy for someone that leans more towards logic to be blinded to faith.

Oxford Languages in this context defines faith as “a strong belief in the doctrines of a religion, based on spiritual conviction rather than proof.” I put the last part of the sentence in bold to stress what my friend might have been missing and which was the focus of my point after he made that statement.

If someone believes something based on their conviction rather than proof, how do you use logic to proof them wrong? Does it even make sense that we ever get to debate something as intangible and spiritual as faith? Perhaps I should rephrase this question: how does eyesight tell mindsight that what the latter is seeing is wrong or doesn’t exist at all? I understanding debating the structure of a religion and how certain aspects of it may not serve the general good of humanity. But questioning the faith on which it is built? No!

It broke my heart to thousand miserable pieces of disappointment when I woke up to the news of the massacre of Christians in Nigeria by Muslims a few days ago. Voice of the Martyrs wrote:

According to a report released on August 10th, more than 7,000 Nigerian Christians had been killed within the first 220 days of 2025 – an average of 32 deaths per day. Additionally, at least 7,800 followers of Jesus were abducted for their faith, more than 19,000 churches have been destroyed, and over 1,100 Christian communities are now dealing with displacement in the aftermath of these attacks.

How do we decry political dictatorship, yet do everything in our power to promote its religious counterpart? Does it even make sense? We can’t count how much misery such wars have brought upon families, communities and the world over time. We seem to repeat history more often than history is willing to repeat itself. Isn’t it said that variety is the spice of life?

When I was in Yaounde between 2019 and 2022, a beautiful Muslim family lived in the apartment to my right, a cheerful pastor lived directly opposite me and the girl who lived in the room to my left was a carefree medical student who wasn’t religious at all. I don’t remember the pastor loving Islam or the Muslims trying to love Christianity, but we all lived very happily together because we were able to respect each other.

I’m not a religious person – at least for now – but I absolutely understand and respect religious people. I understand how tempting it can be for us to want others to think and look like us, but I also enjoy the beauty that comes with diversity in all forms.

Truth is, I’d be lying if I said I love every human being or every religion out there. I truly wish I did. Unfortunately, I don’t and I don’t feel bad about it. But here’s the good news, I don’t have to love them to respect them. And you know what? Respect, in my opinion, far outweighs love.

Love is an emotion, and emotions change every now and then. I don’t trust my emotions as much as I trust my intelligence. There are people I once loved that I don’t want to see now; there are people I once hated that I can’t go a day without talking to now; there are those that I just feel indifferent about. It’s easy for me to love someone who looks and thinks like me; but it’s beautiful and honourable to respect those that don’t. The easy thing to do is hardly ever the best.

Love originates from the heart and it’s hard to tell the heart what to love. Yes, the heart is by nature biased and there’s little we can do about that. But respect is an intellectual decision and we have far more control over it than we have over love.

The world becomes a better place the day we understand that we don’t owe people love; they don’t have to think or look like us; we just owe them respect.

Article 18 of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights is clear on this:

Everyone has the right to freedom of thought, conscience and religion; this right includes freedom to change his religion or belief, and freedom, either alone or in community with others and in public or private, to manifest his religion or belief in teaching, practice, worship and observance.

If their beliefs or religion doesn’t hurt a third party, then let them be. There’s no such thing as a superior or an inferior religion. Live and let live!

Tubuo